GREEN DAY: A Cinematic Guide to Surviving St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick’s Day is always a great time, but if you don’t do it right…you might not survive it.  Our St. Patrick’s Day Survival Guide will tell you what you need to wear, where you need to go, and how to make it through a bar fight.

A striking green outfit? Check.

A game plan for the bar crawl? Mapped out.

Your strategy for surviving a bar fight?  …Maybe don’t order a Cranberry Juice at an Irish Bar

But before you embark on St. Patrick’s Day, here’s TheTake’s Cinematic Survival Guide to help you make it through the Holiday alive.

What to Wear:

The Green Blazer to Class Up Any St. Patrick’s Day Outfit

Flaked Will Arnett Green Blazer

The Product: Original Penguine P55 Blazer, $64.99
The Show: Flaked

A Green Jacket That Can Survive Anything…Even Irish Car Bombs

Quintico Alex Parrish Green Leahter Jacket

The Product: Free People Hooded Vegan Moto Jacket, $168.00
The Show: Quantico

If You Want to Get Lucky on St. Patty’s Day, You Need This Green Cardigan

Scream Queens Chad Radwell Green Cardigan

The Product: Brooks Brothers Shawl Collar Cardigan, $98.64
The Show: Scream Queens

This Tote Bag is Worth Shelling Out the Green For

Billions Wendy Rhoades Bag

The Product: 3.1 Phillip Lim Large Pashli Tote Bag, $905.77
The Show: Billions

Where to Go:

Vazac’s Horseshoe Bar, New York City

Jessica Jones Luke Cage Horseshoe Bar

Seen In: Jessica Jones
The Drink: This East Village dive bar is the perfect spot to enjoy a few Irish Beers, from Guinness to Murphy’s.  They have them by the pint or the pitcher for very reasonable prices, but try not to get too rowdy – word on the street is that the bartender is indestructible.

Stone Street Tavern, New York City

The Other Woman Cameron Diaz Leslie Mann Stonestreet Tavern

Seen In: The Other Woman (2014)
The Drink: Shots.  Preferably of Jameson Whiskey.

 

How to Survive the Bar Crawl:

1. Be prepared for an intellectual showdown.

The Movie: Good Will Hunting 
The Details: It happens. A beer is spilled. Glances are exchanged. Words are fired.  And boom – you’re going head to head in a intellectual slugfest over international trade tariffs. Our advice: brush up on your old syllabus.

2. Don’t be afraid to throw down.

The Movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Details: So maybe the whole intellectual routine didn’t work out for you.  That’s okay, there’s always Plan B.  There’s nothing wrong with a good ol’ fashioned bar fight.

3. Don’t spill your beer.

The Movie: The World’s End
The Details: So now you’re in a bar fight.  We’re sure you know how to handle yourself, but if you really want to be the King of St. Patrick’s Day, take a cue from Gary King and win your bar brawl with only one fighting hand, leaving the other free to pound that freshly poured pint.  Because what is a Pyrrhic Victory if not a victory where you defeat your opponent, but spill all your beer in the process?

4. Keep your clothes on.

The Movie: Old School
The Details: After you’ve hit a few bars, knocked back a few shots and pounded a few beers, you’re going to have an idea.  An idea that seems so brilliant, you don’t know how you didn’t think of it before: Go streaking.  It happens to us all.  But trust us – you have to resist the temptation.  With that said, don’t resist the temptation to go to KFC.

5. Don’t be afraid of getting a few scars.

The Movie: Jaws
The Details: St. Patrick’s Day is about letting loose, having fun, celebrating life (all in honor of the late Saint Patrick, the Patron Saint of Ireland of course).  So don’t be so reserved and cautious that you don’t end the night with a few scars on you.  After all, as Jaws has taught us, every scar makes for a great story some day when you’re drinking with the pals.

Bonus: For Those Under 21, Don’t Forget Your Fake ID

McLovin ID

For only $3.99, this fool-proof McLovin ID can be your’s.  And, for an extra three bucks, they’ll even use your real picture.  You can’t beat that deal. (Note: TheTake doesn’t support underage drinking.  Not cool kids.)

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