After almost a decade of absence, the legendary rogue CIA assassin Jason Bourne is finally returning to theaters this weekend. Before you see him in his new adventure, check out our guide to help you kick ass like your favorite action hero.
We all know Jason Bourne.
Covert assassin. Expert fighter. A master behind the wheel.
Occasionally loses all of his memory and is forced to go on a globe-trotting quest to re-discover his true identity.
Basically, he’s an all-around bad-ass, and you should be more like him.
To help, here is the 10 step guide you need to get yourself on Jason Bourne’s level.
– Part One: Weaponry, or Lack-There-Of –
1. Bring a Pen to a Knife Fight
Jason Bourne’s fighting mantra: Speak softly and carry a big Bic.
2. When in Doubt: Book It
Some say a little light reading has never hurt anybody. Jason Bourne has not found that to be true.
3. Don’t Forget to Renew Your GQ Subscription
If you find yourself in a knife fight yet again but there’s no pen in sight, go with Plan B: roll up a magazine and aim for the face.
4. Always Have a Leg Up On Your Opponent
Jason Bourne has never been one to sit still. In fact, he’s not really one to use chairs at all – a broken off chair leg, on the other hand…
– Part Two: Transportation –
5. Secret Agents Don’t Take the Stairs…
Stairs are boring, tiring, and a waste of time. We recommend avoiding them whenever possible (just make sure you have something soft handy to break your fall).
6. …Unless They’re In a Mini Cooper
Taking the stairs in a Mini Cooper is a different story entirely. Just give your passengers a heads up first.
7. Even Bad-Asses Remember to Buckle their Seatbelts
You know what’s not cool? A broken back. You know what is cool? Safety.
– Part Three: The Look –
8. The Watch You Need in a High-Stakes Situation
9. A Spy is Nothing Without Strong Footwear
Chasing a guy down across the rooftops of Tangiers? These Timberland Euro Hiker Boots are a necessity.
10. Tough Fights Call For a Tough Jacket
Someone like Bourne needs a jacket that can keep up with his hard-hitting lifestyle. Personally, we recommend this Weatherproof Full-Zip Jacket.