BOURNE READY: A 10 Step Guide to Kicking Ass Like Jason Bourne

After almost a decade of absence, the legendary rogue CIA assassin Jason Bourne is finally returning to theaters this weekend.  Before you see him in his new adventure, check out our guide to help you kick ass like your favorite action hero.

We all know Jason Bourne.

Covert assassin. Expert fighter. A master behind the wheel.

Occasionally loses all of his memory and is forced to go on a globe-trotting quest to re-discover his true identity.

Basically, he’s an all-around bad-ass, and you should be more like him.

To help, here is the 10 step guide you need to get yourself on Jason Bourne’s level.


–  Part One: Weaponry, or Lack-There-Of –

1. Bring a Pen to a Knife Fight

Jason Bourne’s fighting mantra: Speak softly and carry a big Bic.

2. When in Doubt: Book It

Some say a little light reading has never hurt anybody.  Jason Bourne has not found that to be true.

3. Don’t Forget to Renew Your GQ Subscription

If you find yourself in a knife fight yet again but there’s no pen in sight, go with Plan B: roll up a magazine and aim for the face.

4. Always Have a Leg Up On Your Opponent

Jason Bourne has never been one to sit still.  In fact, he’s not really one to use chairs at all – a broken off chair leg, on the other hand…

– Part Two: Transportation –

5. Secret Agents Don’t Take the Stairs…

Stairs are boring, tiring, and a waste of time. We recommend avoiding them whenever possible (just make sure you have something soft handy to break your fall).

6. …Unless They’re In a Mini Cooper

Taking the stairs in a Mini Cooper is a different story entirely.  Just give your passengers a heads up first.

7. Even Bad-Asses Remember to Buckle their Seatbelts

You know what’s not cool? A broken back.  You know what is cool? Safety.

– Part Three: The Look –

8. The Watch You Need in a High-Stakes Situation

Jason Bourne watch

Always a fan of Tag Heuer, this time around Jason Bourne is rocking the ‘Formula 1’ Black Dial Chronograph Watch. Never leave home without it.

9. A Spy is Nothing Without Strong Footwear

Jason Bourne Boots

Chasing a guy down across the rooftops of Tangiers? These Timberland Euro Hiker Boots are a necessity.

10. Tough Fights Call For a Tough Jacket

Jason Bourne Jacket

Someone like Bourne needs a jacket that can keep up with his hard-hitting lifestyle.  Personally, we recommend this Weatherproof Full-Zip Jacket.