You crazy, thieving, hilarious, pie-eating mess of a human being.
Your wardrobe is questionable and your decision making is worse.
But you’ve got good taste in tourist destinations, we’ll give you that.
Because Cave of the Winds at Niagara Falls State Park is one of the most gorgeous, awe-inspiring spots on earth. So it was sure nice of you to embark on a road trip to just that spot with your spritely grandmother (Susan Sarandon). It took awhile and the journey wasn’t easy, but hey, you made it.
Now, as you know, Cave of the Winds is a wet zone that requires ponchos and waterproof shoes. It all begins with an elevator ride 175 feet down into the gorge, where you follow wooden walkways along the river while looking up in wonder at the rushing waterfall. That waterfall creates some serious wind and spray that simulates tropical storm-like conditions. It’s wild.
But what you maybe didn’t know is that workers rebuild those wooden boardwalks every year. See, the walkways that allow summer visitors to experience the sight are removed every November to protect them from extreme weather. They’re then reassembled each spring for the upcoming tourist season. It’s quite the feat of engineering.
Anyway, we’re glad you enjoyed your time there. And that’s all we have to say, really. We hope this letter finds you well.
And not, like, in prison or something.
Niagara Falls State Park, 332 Prospect St, Niagara Falls, NY 14303