CLAPPER’S DELIGHT: You Look Like You Could Use Some Slow Claps

Clap.

Clap.

Clap.

Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap…

And that’s the sound a slow clap makes.

But you knew that. Because you’ve been witnessing shining examples of the art in movies for years.

Here now: 10 such examples, along with the approximate number of slow claps it took to reach a crescendo in each scene.

This is important work, people…

HOOSIERS
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 27
Why All the Drama?: What you have here is a group of young lads who have just reached peak Hackman. You’d clap all weird, too.

COOL RUNNINGS
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 35
Why All the Drama:? It’s 1988 and the Jamaicans are in Calgary. We’re not sure what that means but it seems like a great opportunity to clap slowly. Plus, walking on ice isn’t easy.

NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: Too many false alarms to call it
Why All the Drama?: This is the story of a boy. A boy in search of the perfect slow-clap moment. He tried and he tried and he tried until one day… someone stole his moment from him just before the credits. Sometimes stupid is funny.

 

RUDY
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 34
Why All the Drama?: Everyone loves a good underdog story. Especially when the underdog is a little rascal by the name of Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger who just suited up for practice and is about to go on a miniature reign of terror on the field. Especially then.

 

SCENT OF A WOMAN
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: Like… 1
Why All the Drama?: Al Pacino. No, that’s it. Al Pacino.

 

THE BREAKFAST CLUB
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 10. But it’s really more of a reverse crescendo.
Why All the Drama?: Bender resents Claire for putting on makeup. And for her general Claire-ness. And as a result, he unwittingly made 1985 the year of the reverse slow clap. Classic Bender.

 

INTOLERABLE CRUELTY
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 31
Why All the Drama?: A disheveled George Clooney delivers his riveting “Love is good” speech, thus rendering the captive audience’s hands useless against his powers.

 

CAN’T BUY ME LOVE
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 11
Why All the Drama?: Some kid who’s not Patrick Dempsey did some thing that made everyone all excited. Don’t look at us like that. It’s a good 80s slow clap and that’s what’s important right now.

 

AGAINST THE ROPES
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 16
Why All the Drama?: Omar Epps put on a sheer shirt and made everybody do it. Also, did this movie really happen in real life?

 

JERSEY GIRL
Estimated Pre-Crescendo Claps: 8
Why All the Drama?: In the Sweeney Todd scene, the audience wasn’t quite sure what to think about Affleck’s performance, so some brave soul decided to release the tension with some less-than-fast hand cymbals. That, or they suddenly realized it wasn’t a Gigli sequel.

 

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